I've almost had this journal for 10 years. Damn. Wow. I was 19.
That being said I thought I would log in and tell it a bit of news.
I had a baby. She's the sweetest darn thing in the world.



Miss Ellie James is her name. :) And, she's turned my world upside down in just short 8 weeks.

laying on the couch like a sack of potatoes next to tucker. well technically he is somehow under my legs. he likes the couch more than me. i'm having a hard time focusing on the good stuff which i'm normally really good at. or at least i'm pretty good at ignoring the annoying or bad stuff. but i feel drained. like i spent the entire day at the warm, sandy beach only to walk back to my home covered by snow drifts.

i wouldn't mind having honey colored hair.
i would also like a new tattoo. black ink line art.
i'd like to not be afraid. i could live so fully if i weren't so afraid.
i want to be okay with all this dirt and hair and finger prints and dust.
i want to roll down a big ole hill with tiny little dandelions growing abundantly in the grass.
i want to leave a mark.
i want to bake in the sun in the park with an ice coffee and the smell of sweat seeping out of my skin.
i want to get control of this anxiety.

the air from the heater is cold
and my knuckles are stiff
when i was 8, and fat like fat as a old lady who shops at jc penney's plus size section fat
i couldn't see the bones in my hands
but i had heard that if you cracked your knuckles they would get bigger
so i started cracking my knuckles
it's been 19 years now of cracking, and my hand's are skinnier
but not because my knuckles are bigger

Hi livejournal.
I haven't spoken with you in a long time.
I have been thinking about you a little bit though. Little things keep popping up from two years ago or three or four, and I want to remember what I wrote to document that time. I'm glad there is such an extensive calendar system on here. Well, I guess it's not that extensive, but it helps to keep everything organized. I don't even really need to worry about "tags." Eh.

That's all.
Bye.

We took engagement photos! My brother actually did, and I think he did a wonderful job! I'm really excited about them.




Check them all out on Drew's Flickr.

So all day I've been giving updates on AJ and Shea. Katie called me this morning and I had my phone on me while I was working (something I normally don't do). I answered, and she let me know about the earthquakes and landslides in Costa Rica where AJ and Shea are vacationing. Needless to say I was a slight wreck all day but actually stayed very calm. I called information trying to get the O'brien's phone number in Sacramento, called a few friends, and finally got ahold of Kim O'brien, Shea's mom. She seemed calm for 7 am and not knowing where her daughter was so I felt a little better. She let me know that if all went as AJ and Shea had planned then they should not have been in San Jose, Costa Rica when the quake hit. They had planned to fly in, rent a car, and drive 3 hours west of the city. And, that's just what they did. Thank the lord.


Here is an email I got from AJ around 5 pm today:


Hey Familia,

We are safe in Costa Rica. Today was the first time we have had internet access since we arrived except for at the rental car place (and even now it is moving at a snails pace). We didn't even know about an earthquake until we arrived today. Please tell everyone we are safe, having a great time, and talk to you soon!

Yesterday we zip lined through the rain forest and then jumped from 40 foot waterfalls! Today we did a little snorkeling, island hopping, and have been out on a boat all day. It has been so amazing!

Anyway, miss you all mucho. Please pass on the word that we are safe and were completely oblivious...

Pura Vida.

Amor Mucho,
Shea and AJ

http://www.newschannel5.com/global/story.asp?s=9569257


Look guys! It's my brother, Drew! He saved this man, Tim Cross - a former Chicago Bears player - last week by dragging him out of his car and giving him CPR after he crashed! SO AMAZING! They say he wouldn't have lived if not for Drew being there.!! It's the top story!


I love my brother!

It's snowing outside! Really pretty-like.
Today feels nostalgic. The hum of the heater, the chill from the windows.
We're going to try to haul our christmas tree home today, too!

I am currently downloading Obama's podcast videos from the campaign. And, I have to tell you that I am still so amazed. I just saw one where he sat down to lunch with 4 or 5 educators, and spoke about grassroots change, the need for reform in education, etc. and, yeah.... it makes me hopeful.

Um, I don't get this...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/11/14/second.life.divorce/index.html

I spent last night with Obama in Grant Park, and I am so happy I decided to go (sans ticket).
It was beyond words one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

I feel like this man understands what it means to be an American.
And, so like most of you I am proud and excited. But please listen to Barack, and don't let the fight for change end here.

Today a man told me he was going to spit on me. This was after he pushed an old man in the lower back - hard.
I guess, I should state that he wanted to spit on me because I basically told him he was an asshole.


I also bought this game today.



It was $1.38 at salvation army. I think it might be fun. Practice for my survival adventure at least.
Tomorrow I leave for Omaha, and I'm not ready. Still need to pack. And, I haven't seen my friends in forever. And, I'm going to miss my boyfriend and my pets. Oh, and I'm working 12 hour days. So I'm going to be tired, but hopefully it's fun.